Apathy to Kittens and Salesmen

I still don’t feel like myself.

Work was boring, and it was so hell boring that I even lost track of what day it was, like last wednesday I was asking for a copy of the shipments due that day from my father’s secretary and she gave me friday’s list and told me it was already friday.

Some friends asked me to go bar hopping both friday and saturday nights. Though I wanted to get alcohol on my system after work, I declined to their offer since I never liked the idea about bar hopping to crowded places, and especially when I’m very miserable at the moment. But late saturday night ariel called me up with the better alternative I was hoping for, that if I wanted to go have some beers. I met up with ariel on this little vendor's hut by the streets about some blocks away from home, I was planning to go out with the shirt and pants I was wearing from home to the place, but fortunately I brought along another extra blue shirt which I later swung on because of the cold of the night. We had a table right on the sidewalk watching random motorist hit the road, it was a great place even when we did not have any music to go with our beers because we still had the whole dead silence of the night to keep us depressed. The only thing bothering us was this little stray kitten under our table asking for scraps and its cries caught ariel’s sympathy and he almost took the feline bastard home, the vendor’s hut closed at midnight and ariel carried the kitten on our way home for almost a block, he said the poor thing sounded like a child looking for its mother, and he was getting all too soft with the kitten. I convinced him to save himself the trouble of having another pet at home so we finally left it beside some trash can where its kind can probably grow to become an alley cat, which right now I realized I just set loose another pest on the streets. But besides ariel wouldn’t be so happy to see me kill the kitten.

Sunday I was supposed to drive my parents to the airport first thing in the morning but they changed their minds so I had the morning til 10 to doze off.

Then monday morning some new sales agent jerk popped at our office. First of all I didn’t like him, he was the kind of person that you knew you’d hate before you knew them or even before they just start talking. He was fat too, and it wasn’t the kind of fat he grew through aging, it looked like it was the fat he had from childhood. I was standing up against the wall and I only had my white shirt and working shorts on, he didn’t give much of a damn to me since I looked pretty sloppy and he just went up to my father’s secretary asking for an audience from the management. She could have driven the jerk away but she was caught off guard and had me facing the agent, he then turned to me and started calling me sir and all that nonsense, I’m too keen about people calling me sir spontaneously when they hardly knew me or my drinking problems or stuffs about me. And when he was facing me and talking about his crap, both his eyeballs were focused up to the ceiling which I began glancing up myself to see what the hell he was staring at, only to find out that this guy also had eyeball problems, his eyeballs can’t focus straight to where he's looking, and now he began to look amusing. Anyway I told this guy about the country's economy falling apart and all and we are not anymore interested in expanding business further.

He didn’t get the hint, he came back twice later that day.

A year's worth of thoughts

It’s been like two weeks since I wrote anything in my blog, there were a couple of good thoughts I should have saved for my blog but I guess I am just not in the mood to write and I do feel miserable lately too.

Yesterday was also the Chinese mid autumn festival, or like the big deal they made out of the 8th full moon of the lunar calendar. But last night it rained like hell and there was no full moon up in the sky, and my parents just got home from manila because they had to attend to our neighbor’s wedding, and since they had nothing great for dinner at home I took the car with my two brothers to grab some pizza instead of the traditional moon cakes the Chinese are supposed to eat because these pastries were round like the moon or something. The pizza’s round too anyway.

I don’t feel like writing. Five days ago my blog turned a year old, I know I could have written a lot about the best of times and the worse of times about saving my year’s worth of thoughts, but hell I feel miserable. I did drink a lot for my miserability’s sake but hell I guess alcohol isn’t helping that much.

Right now I’m thinking of this really great place to run away and drink, it was this lounge at this hotel where I stayed in Puerto princesa city last april, and it was the finest place I ever drank in this year. The lounge was empty, I was the only guest sitting at the place, there was a waiter and this geeky looking guy in glasses playing the piano, and from where I sat they had this great big window where you could see the stone fountain and the brick pavement below and the big starry night sky above. And the geek playing the piano had talent, I asked him to play this song “just the way you are” and hell it was the second best piece I’ve heard next to Barry White’s, then he went on playing “arthur’s theme” and hell I felt like falling in love with nobody. I feel so miserable right now I wish I could go back there, with the same geek on the piano and the same night sky and the same empty lounge with all the beers. The whole package would sound depressing to some but it can kick this miserability to overdrive and make me feel great just being alone.

Drinking with Rehnquist

I got two great jazz mp3s today, though I didn’t get to contradict both songs on purpose, their titles were: “You’re a fine girl” by looking glass and “Ugly girl” by fionna apple. They both sound great.

Last saturday night I had a hell lot of beers, I was to join some friends for some beer at some bar but it turned out to be a blunder. I left for home early and ended up drinking at my desk, I didn’t feel like myself too so I drank a little more than the usual. I fell asleep around 2 in the morning, and by 4 my brother heard me talking in my sleep, though I can't remember dreaming that night. My brother couldn’t make out some of the words I muttered though I did say “red horse” and something like “request”. Red horse is a local beer known for its rather strong alcohol content (oh great now I’m drinking in my sleep) but what was also so strange was that when I said "request" in my sleep, I could have meant Rehnquist, and on that same day US chief justice Rehnquist passed away. I don’t seem to remember dreaming about me drinking red horse with the head of the US supreme court, in fact I haven’t heard his name from adam. He must be one of those really brilliant people that can make me feel so dumb when I go reading through what they write about the law.

I used to read some American jurisprudence in school, the same things Rehnquist writes and they sure do pack a lot of head ache, I remember my teacher telling me to make a paper about our country’s judiciary in a nutshell because I didn’t do well during the last exams. He wasn’t going to discuss it in class anymore so he left it to me to write about all the important details for the class to read, I felt I had everybody’s neck on the line if I screw this paper. My teacher showed me that I should kick off from this am jur Marbury vs Madison (and that's just one, I had 50 something more of that to read) my teacher has a Harvard law degree so it was his kind of stuff, but for me I had to spend hours reading it and trying to make sense out of it. I remember that the piece was written sometime during Jefferson's period and one things for sure, Rehnquist wasn't around yet to write it.