Artful Dodger

My watch stopped 10:30 in the morning of november the 16th and time hasn't moved for more than two weeks according to my watch, but even without the track of time I would still arrive very late like I always do in a couple friends wedding I attended about a week ago. The wedding reception started at six in the evening and I arrived almost eight though my watch said 10:30 and this time it got me into trouble. I got inside the hall where everybody was eating but they were all done anyway, I saw peter and his wife and I decided to join them at their table when he started standing and pointing to my direction, I found out that jason was also hosting the wedding and he was calling me on the microphone to come up front. Everybody in the crowd faced me and they had to clap like hell and I found out I got inside the hall right in time for that goddam part where the groom throws his bride's stocking to single men, and I caught the garter on the third throw. Jason then stuck his microphone up my mouth if I wanted to say anything to the crowd and I swear I could have gone nuts, I pulled the microphone away and told him I just got here, so much for being late.

They say you're supposed to get married next if the garter falls to your favor, hell I don't think so.

I also got a call from my high school classmate who was the valedictorian of our chinese class last month, he is also getting married next year and he had to because his hair is receding like the low tide. He called me up because he wanted me to do this part in his wedding where I tie a rope noose around him and his wife's neck, maybe to mean something like in marriage we'll have the other's neck everytime the other screws something up. I kept on refusing and I swore everytime I did because I just don't want to go up front in weddings, he tried to changing my mind telling me that he got no other close friends left, though I did appreciate him counting my reclusiveness a close friend.

I promised him that I'll be there for his wedding in manila if I can make it, he just need not put me into the people that's part of the wedding scene for the crowd to make fun at. My high school friend was hoping for more conversation with me because he kept popping out things to talk about, like he was asking if he could help me get married, he mentioned this chinese art of traditional pimping where somebody plays the matchmaker and gets all the aging losers to get married among themselves to preserve their gene pool or some chromosome that they don't want to keep from getting diluted with other races, else create more freaks like me that can blow up the world with depression. Anyway I kept on swearing and refusing to him, I just don't have thoughts of being up in front of a crowd in my own wedding or even the thought of getting married at all, I just didn't feel like telling him about it.